When we feel down, our self-confidence decreases, and it can be difficult to perk back up again. Little do many of us realise that energy vampires are lurking in the shadows. They drain our positivity and plant negativity into our minds. These people that can completely rule our lives if we aren’t careful. Just like vampires in fiction and history, these individuals often hide their true identities to an extent where we might trust them or think of them as friends. Scary, isn’t it? Well, there’s no need to be frightened because we’ve created a guide to help you spot energy vampires so you can banish them from your life.
The Four Energy Vampires
The “I’m right regardless of what you think or feel” vampire.
It doesn’t matter how much you explain your thoughts towards a situation or problem; they don’t care. Whatever they say in their opinion is right, and there is nothing you can do about it. Even if they are in the wrong, and they know it, they’ll be the type of person to give you the silent treatment. This childish behaviour proves you can never win, which means the whole relationship will be one-sided. Try not to build a life around this person, so if they are a friend or a potential partner, understand that these red flags will create huge issues that will affect your future.
The “I absolutely love drama” vampire.
This person thrives on drama so if you want your life to be happy and full of positivity, you’re not going to have it when they’re around. Everything is about them and if something goes wrong in their life, they over-react. Of course, we all need to talk about the negative things that happen so we find strength. However, this person will let you down because of it. Have you had a friend who didn’t turn up on your birthday because they had a row with their partner? That’s a drama vampire, right there. If anything goes wrong for them, they’ll drop you like a hot potato instead of dealing with it and being there for you like they promised. It’s also important to know that drama vampires can come in separate forms. There are also ones who create drama for no reason. In a group of friends, they will gossip and create issues that were never there. They make others feel awful to boost their self-confidence. If you have a friend or a partner who never has anything nice to say, they’re probably this type of energy vampire. It’s important that you drift away from this partnership instead of making it a big deal, or else it’ll give them fuel for the fire.
The “my life is more important” vampire.
When you need a friend, it’s important you can trust people to be there for you. Unfortunately, this type of vampire won’t care about your life, or what is affecting you negatively. They’re far too busy being wrapped up in their own world to care about yours. It’s easy to spot this type of vampire because they’re the one that will cancel plans last minute, not caring about whether you don’t have a backup plan for the weekend. Letting people down because they have a better option isn’t a big deal to them and they’ll sleep sound at night knowing someone is upset and let down by them. Whatever you do, don’t rely on this type of person for big plans. If you have a friend like this, don’t agree to move into an apartment or go on holiday because chances are, they’ll disappoint you at the last minute, leaving you stuck in a situation.
The “I’ll lie to cover my own back” vampire.
A type of vampire like this one can be the most damaging because they will lie to get ahead. If they want to climb the career ladder, they will try and use other people to get there, without appreciating them whatsoever. When a problem occurs, they are quick to point the finger at someone without taking responsibility for their own actions. In conversations, they elaborate to the point where they make up all sorts of things to make their lives seem more interesting. Telling small white lies can grow into bigger ones, which means they can be very untrustworthy. If they borrow something from you and it’s damaged, they’re probably the type of person who will pretend they have no idea what happened to it. Don’t lend money to these people and don’t give them something important to take care of.
How can you make sure someone is an energy vampire?
It’s vital that we don’t jump to conclusions. Everybody has a phase where they aren’t themselves, which can make them act very differently. The trick it to make sure someone isn’t doing negative things for their own gain. Energy vamps want to take energy away from people, whereas innocent people will be upset to hear they’ve made someone feel bad. There are simple things you can do to double check this is a type of person you need to banish out of your life for good.
- Notice their attitude. If you have to let them know that they are coming across this way but they don’t care enough to change, then they are probably someone who doesn’t value your relationship.
- Look at how they treat other people. They might not be toxic towards you, but if they find it very challenging to get along with your family or friends, it’s probably for a reason.
- Does this person make you happy? It’s an important question that is made tough to answer depending on your relationship with an energy vampire. If you are honest with yourself, you’ll probably realise they aren’t bringing anything positive into your life.
- Is there a good reason they are so negative? They might be having a tough time but if you realise they’ve been this way for decades, you need to understand it’s something that won’t change anytime soon.
- Do they have many close friends? If this person has a lot of acquaintances but tends to fall out with friends very easy yet they won’t tell you why there’s a big chance their attitude is getting in the way of their social life.
- Do they only come to you when they need you? Chances are, this person might not realise what they’re doing, so they might only come running to you when they’ve done something negative that’s pushed people away.
What can you do about it?
- Tell them what they are doing and be honest. Some people might be doing something yet no one will tell them. How is someone meant to change without constructive criticism? Hopefully, they’ll be shocked to hear about it and will start to take your feelings into consideration.
- Slowly reduce the amount of time you’re spending with them if they aren’t willing to accept they’re an energy vampire.
Ask them to seek some help or guidance. This friend of yours might actually be going through something awful; this is why they are acting this way. Remember that happy people aren’t horrible people. A lack of confidence can bring on many other problems in someone’s life, so perhaps they have some long term issues they need to sort out.
- Keep at a safe distance but be there if they absolutely need you. If they realise how they’ve been and they want to talk and apologise, accept this peace offering. Everyone makes mistakes and people need to grow and develop into wiser people. Don’t turn away someone for realising they’ve made a mistake and instead, be grateful that they want to change for the better.