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Long distance love: how to cope in a long distance relationship

“Together forever and never apart.  Maybe in distance, but never at heart.”

Are you involved in a long distance relationship?  It is no secret that this type of romance requires a lot of hard work and determination.  If you are struggling to cope with the physical separation, here are a few tips and advice to cheer you up.

It’s perfectly normal to feel fear and doubts

Those involved in long distance relationships often feel a lot of uncertainty.  Although there is an intense intimacy and connection between you and your partner, you are both also physically on your own every single day.  So, you end up feeling a part of a couple, yet somehow you also feel single.

Rather than pushing yourself to find more security in the situation, learn to accept that fear and doubts exist in every relationship – long distance or otherwise.

There are no regular relationships

Two factors have made long distance romance much more common than even just 30 years ago.  The first is the ease of which one can travel domestically and internationally these days, and the second is the widespread use of the internet.

The rise of this type of romance means that contemporary love can take many different forms, and that there isn’t such a thing as a ‘regular’ relationship.  If you change your notion of what a relationship involves, you will become more broadminded and ready to accept the challenges that come with doing something a little differently.

Be in the relationship you are in, not the one you imagine

While this point applies equally to local relationships as well, the lack of physical presence in a long distance romance often leads to one or both parties to an overactive imagination.

Maybe your fears are causing you to imagine scenarios where your partner is cheating, or conversely, maybe you are making up excuses for a partner who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve.  Whatever the case, be honest about the relationship you have, instead of escaping to your imagination to find the relationship you want.

You need to deal with the loneliness that ensues

The greatest challenge in long distance romance is dealing with loneliness.

In this regard, you need to ensure you keep yourself busy socially by seeing lots of friends and family.  You should also pursue interests that you like and make a conscious effort to take up extra hobbies.  Being a part of a long distance couple does not give you an excuse to abandon the outside world.  Just remember, the more you isolate yourself, the more your insecurities will magnify.

You should also encourage your partner to be active and involved in all that’s around him.  A relationship where both parties can enjoy his or her freedom without feeling guilty is makes for a healthy foundation for a long term partnership.

Setting expectations and boundaries

Finally, your long distance partner needs to understand what you expect about the relationship, and you need to know what they are after as well.  This includes getting down to the nitty-gritty of communicating how often you expect to be contacted, and when you might want to see each other face to face.

Make a regular time slot to communicate with one another and keep to that time – it is a great way to feel you are a part of a strong commitment.

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