We as humans are lead to understand that positive emotions have to be gained from external sources and not from within ourselves. Feelings of being loved, joy and being accepted – these are emotions that we tend to experience and take delight in from others, be it a life partner, family or friends.
The reason why we tend to seek these emotions to be fulfilled from the external world lies deep within our psyche, which was programmed since our childhood years telling us these can only be gained externally. The truth is, these feelings lie rooted in our subconscious and we need to look inwards to experience them, even when there are not too many positive things going on in our lives.
Love and happiness are an existential part of human life, whether we see them or not. The ability to perceive them lies within ourselves as long as we search for it within. The choice is ours, whether we rely on external influences to take place to make us experience these emotions or we are proactive and find ways to feel a sense of contentment and happiness, irrespective of the circumstances that we might be in. The truth is happiness is a state of mind and all we need to do is look within. A few ways that you can go about this are:
Accept reality: Learn to acknowledge situations and people the way they are and your role in the scheme of things. Look at the brighter side and how you could contribute positively.
Learn to forgive and let-go: Don’t cling on to unpleasant memories or incidents and carry a grudge. Forgiveness is the first step to happiness. If a relationship does not work out move on and don’t live in the past. Take charge and develop a positive mindset. Bad things do happen, do not try to reason why they do, instead move on and cultivate a sense of self-belief that you can change things for the better.
Do not blame circumstances and people: If you are not being able to live a full life, the fault does not lie with the world or with those around us. We need to change ourselves and the negative traits that lie within. Learn to see joy in the small things in life and do not presume that happiness is conditional. It is not!
Make yourself feel special: Focus on all that you want to do and aspire for. When negativity does rear its ugly head (it invariably does) push it behind you and replace it with a feeling of being special and cultivate the belief that you can make the best out of the worst possible situations. Do not live in the past enjoy the present and look forward to the future!
Learn to feel joyous: Remember the song “Don’t worry be happy”. Make that your personal motto and search for happiness in the simplest things in life. Whether it is a beautiful sunset, the spontaneous laughter of a child or playing with your pet. We tend to associate happiness with being wealthy or buying a new home or going on a luxury holiday whereas the truth is, it lies in the smallest experiences of our daily routines. Norman Vincent Peale rightly summed it up when he said that, having positive thoughts leads to the manifestation of positive results in our life.